October 2009
5 posts
i need money fast.
I should sell my body or something. I really need the money :L
Piece of shit laptop… I hate using this thing. Charlie has the good one at hospital so i’m making do with this.
hey.
Been a while right? I’ve kinda been having a tough time with stuff. I probably need this place atm. so hi.
In a matter of years I'm gonna be alone.
aspicio:
headoncollision:
This shit just ain’t letting up. I’m not on tumblr much anymore. I can’t wallow in this. I’m busy with school and work and life. Follow Charlie at mrmisfortune, he updates more than me and all that is on my mind atm is this shit with him so yeah :|
*hug* Jamie :( I hope you’re alright
I’m not but thanks *hugs*
In a matter of years I'm gonna be alone.
This shit just ain’t letting up. I’m not on tumblr much anymore. I can’t wallow in this. I’m busy with school and work and life. Follow Charlie at mrmisfortune, he updates more than me and all that is on my mind atm is this shit with him so yeah :|
September 2009
49 posts
I am fine, thanks.
Dealing with my weight well, depression’s supressed and I’m making it through. Lots of cute moments with Cadence :)
Glad you guys are doing ok!
Sorry I'm not around much.
Our computer is broken so we have to use Ryans which means we have to do it when he’s not on it. Which is rare, lmao. He’s at physio atm so we can use it but Charlie’s chosen to watch HSM instead because he sucks. So I’m around now for a bit. I miss tumbling (tumblring?) as much as I used to but I don’t have the time. How is everyone?
I stole the laptop back from Charlie.
icaneatyourfaceplz:
headoncollision:
icaneatyourfaceplz:
headoncollision:
icaneatyourfaceplz:
headoncollision:
It was unfair that he’s watching HSM and online chatting to people when I wasn’t watching anything and have nobody to talk to lmao. One thing at a time plz.
Goomba, fix your page. My ugly face is plaguing it.
That’s why I haven’t been posting much, so your face stays on...
I stole the laptop back from Charlie.
icaneatyourfaceplz:
headoncollision:
icaneatyourfaceplz:
headoncollision:
It was unfair that he’s watching HSM and online chatting to people when I wasn’t watching anything and have nobody to talk to lmao. One thing at a time plz.
Goomba, fix your page. My ugly face is plaguing it.
That’s why I haven’t been posting much, so your face stays on tumblr for all to see and love, trick.
I’VE...
I stole the laptop back from Charlie.
icaneatyourfaceplz:
headoncollision:
It was unfair that he’s watching HSM and online chatting to people when I wasn’t watching anything and have nobody to talk to lmao. One thing at a time plz.
Goomba, fix your page. My ugly face is plaguing it.
That’s why I haven’t been posting much, so your face stays on tumblr for all to see and love, trick.
I stole the laptop back from Charlie.
It was unfair that he’s watching HSM and online chatting to people when I wasn’t watching anything and have nobody to talk to lmao. One thing at a time plz.
I'm in a good mood.
For no reason either, lmao. It just took me ages to spell either too, wtf.
Charlie has tumblr.
He found mine and it earned me an hour long talk when he saw how low I’ve been in some of my updates. So he’s got one now presumably to keep tabs on me though he says it’s to get over his fear of computers, lmao. Anyway he told me to whore him out so he’s mrmisfortune and he says he’s gonna be more popular than I am, lmao. Bullshit xD
I keep staring at that picture.
:/
I know I said it like the other day but I love...
That's really upset me.
I see what everyone was saying. It’s disgusting. Oh fuck I’m actually crying.
I never thought I would say this but I am too...
A picture just made me see sense.
I'm listening to Ricky Gervais podcasts.
:D
I apologize.
Sorry I almost went anorexic and suicidal on you guys for a bit. Not my fault tbh but I’m still sorry you had to read it. Things aren’t as bad as they could be atm, chemo is making Charlie really sick but he’s got a guy (the guy in my grade) and the guy actually understands what it’s like coz he has cancer as well but it’s leukemia instead of testicular. It’s...
Charlie met a guy.
He’s in my grade… its so weird. He is a really cool guy and he knows the situation because everyone does but idk it’s weird and I dont want this guy to hurt him.
Cadence is here.
I really do like her, she’s so good to me and she’s just so nice to me and she is gorgeous tbh :)
I am feeling a lot better.
I’m off the anti depressents because they made it worse tbh and I talked to Charlie about everything for hours and he made me feel a lot better about it all. Plus I’m not gonna starve myself :|
Idk if you guys know i love you.
If I could I would reply to all the formsprings and reblogs and messages and stuff on here that I get but it would spam everyone and there’s not enough words in the world to sum of gratitude. Thank you infinitely for all the support and the encouragement and everything that you guys send me. Thanks for caring and not complaining about everything apart from a few dicks who think I should stop...
:'(
fml.
It is 5:24am.
I can’t sleep. Charlie’s in so much pain atm but he won’t admit it it’s just really obvious because whenever he moves he groans and you can pretty much feel the agony he’s in just by looking. He’s been throwing up almost constantly all day and this is the first moment he’s really been out of the bathroom :|
I wish I could be strong for him but I really...
This is making me wanna cry.
2 hours he’s been in the bathroom throwing up :|
She doesn't need this.
almost 18 is too young to be involved with shit like this. I have no choice but Cadence should get out when she can before every moment we spend together is ruined by calorie counting :|
I am going to end it with Cadence.
I really like her and she’s great and its fun but she doesn’t need to get mixed up with this.
I have it easy.
I may be an anorexic depressed kid with a brother with cancer and no parents because they hate us.
But I still have both of my testicles and I’m not losing my hair and throwing up all the time and my partner didn’t leave me.
I just have to watch this shit not live it.
:(
I can just hear him throwing up even though he’s running the taps and has the shower on so I can’t hear :|
Charlie's so ill.
You have no idea how much it hurts me to see him like this :|
I'm so fucked.
I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I have to lose weight :|
Never meant to get obsessed about my weight again...
:|
I'm going.
I can’t take this anymore.
It kills that I can't believe in God like I did.
Some of you think it is stupid but without it I feel kinda alone.
I'm so close.
Shaking and crying and all I want to do is end this. It’s so hard not to.
32lbs gained.
I disgust myself.
I need to lose so much.
I’m not taking the antidepressents and I’m going to use my old method.
I feel bad because Charlie can’t physically stop me this time but I miss skinny Jamie.
I miss 86lbs. I looked so much better.
I'm 112lbs.
ilovevenom:
headoncollision:
I’ve gained so much :(
That’s still incredibly skinny though Jamie.
Not as much as before. It doesn’t suit me.
I'm 112lbs.
I’ve gained so much :(
HE'S sorry.
He’s got nothing to be sorry for :/ but he said he’s sorry for putting me through all this. I’m not the one with a life-threatening illness, if anything it should be me who’s sorry because I know he’s worried I’m going to go anorexic again and this whole depression thing is really making him stressed because he thinks I’m suicidal :|
We had an hour long hug.
I don’t know what i would do if I wasn’t close with Charlie.
I never thought I would understand people who...
onlyforshelly:
Things will get better somehow. I believe they will, because you are such an amazing person, lovely and caring and just all in all gorgeous.
Cancer doesn’t give a shit what kind of person someone’s brother is it’s just gonna go on and do its thing.
I never thought I would understand people who...
sweetdecadence:
headoncollision:
I do now.
don’t do it, jamie. please. /:
I can’t do it. Just saying I understand why people want to.
I never thought I would understand people who...
I do now.
"Mother" saw me today.
She was disgusted :|